ending of a start and starting of a new beginning... thank you Lord, heartfelt...

what more can i say but thank you Lord? u are just too kind to us humans who are weak little nothings... ur grace, mercy, compassion is comparable to none... ytd's thanksgiving day was the best u have ever let mi gone to... though we were busy helping out and all, i still managed to set myself in mood in time for the last ceremony... i made a decision that i hope i will not regret and i hope i will follow... rededication of my life to u, i will start from scratch on how to be jayson, a person that u want mi to be...

allow mi to keep my name and the chain as a last token of my dreaded past... i want to remember it not just as a mistake but hopefully in the near future, a learning experience that u so generously gave mi that not everyone could have experienced... it was tiring and dangerous, i am so glad tt nothing happened to mi in the end... so much so much could have happened but through each and everytime of advanture u brought mi tru unscathed... there was to be temptations everytime, who said there wasn't... i falled to it so many times but i thank you tt itz not deep enough for mi to not return... i get so super annoyed with myself after each and every advanture but cant help feeling so good during the course of events...

u let mi have brothers and sisters who have been by my side ever since they know what's going on with mi and somehing's wrong... accepting mi for who i really am... u know that though it is impossible for mi to open up to everyone who wants to know what's wrong with this poor emo boi, but u let that still pray for mi nonetheless and let mi have enough comfort to know tt... u let mi have people who are willing to sit down for hours and let mi rattle none stop and cry even in front of them... i have learnt to be true to my feelings and true to ppl... thank you for letting mi see tt there is no point being all so jolly but feeling empty all inside of mi...

thank you for providing mi with the chance to serve even when i am not ok... in fact it was the very reason that made mi stay, fear of letting down ppl once i got the job...

thank you for not giving up on mi, giving mi another chance to go back to u...

thank you for yesterday, letting mi be alone to sort out my thoughts, crying out for my own sinful nature and den rededicating myself to u, it is an experience tt i will never forget...

thank you for all the "coincidental" things tt happened, tt led mi to realise which path i should be taking, people answering to my calls at super odd hours to hear mi vent my fustrations while they should be sleeping comfortably in their bed...

thank you for giving mi the chance to start all over again... i will learn to treasure and protect what i have... let mi start from the beginning if it is ecessary Lord, let mi learn from the basics...

God will make a way
when there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for mi

He will be my guide
darw mi closely to His side
with love and strength for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

Lord i have been thorough wilderness and valleys of the dark and deep already, thank you for letting mi see light at the end of the road... but this end of the road means a beginning of another... thank you Lord...