why?

GIVE UP

to totally let go of something or someone totally

i'm controversial... i said that i will never write for u again but i still did... izt a sign of things to come? i dunno, i certainly dun hope so.. or do i?
i'm confused, i really am... u make mi so irritated and i dunno what to do about u... i hate u... i want u to forget mi too... or do i not?
i'm sad... sad because i dunno how to reply ur sms when u text mi... sad because i know what u are toking about and i too agree with what u say sometimes...
i'm angry... angry cause u are not listening to what i am wanting to tell u... u want things ur way, u make things so complicated... why cant things be simple? like b4?
i'm tired... tired of telling u the same things over and over again... tired of telling u my rational and my thinkings.... tired of thinking of u but just cant stop it...
i'm irritated... irritated because u just cant seem to go out of my life, my mind, my thinking... cause u will always be there, have a place in my heart...
i'm regretting... regretting the decision i made to let go of u cause itz causing mi so much pain and agony... cause i think i just cant let go of u... simply cause i still miss u... cause i need u to support mi emotionally and be there for mi...
i'm afraid... cause i dunno what will happen to u after i leave... i dunno how have u been the past weeks... i dunno how have u been surviving and all... maybe u are better off without mi? maybe not...

i dunno what are my feeling anymore... i think itz abt time i take things mind over heart... i have been following my heart for too long periods of time le... i wanna change!!! but deep down i dun... i dunno how to change... i need help... i need another form of emotional support besides u... i hate life... i hate making decisions, especially ones that i am afraid i'll regret...






read the msg below, just for u...
hey.. i didn't totally ignore u ok... i replied to all ur msg... just the last one i really dunno how to reply... u siad u know i have made it clear... den why else are u still so persistant... go get a dictionary and find out the meaning of giving up... i beg u!!! u feel so near yet so far... i never expected myself to be celebrating christmas in such moods... i know i destroyed ur plans for our christmas... i'm sorrie, but that's all i'll say... for now...
i hate u, for bringing mi to a world so different, so complicated, so mysterious, so exciting, so complex, so dark, so dangerous, so nice... u now what? i miss u too... i really do...